Apolo Takes Home The Gold....Errr MirrorBall

When we left ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars” on Monday, Apolo Anton Ohno and partner Julianne Hough had scored 58 points with the judges, Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson had 56 points, and Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy had 55 points. The finale would bring one more dance from each couple, the crowning of the winner, and a whole lot of segments calculated to make time pass. As much time as possible, with as little effort as possible.We were, however, assured that America had spoken — hey, that’s us! — and that our votes would “decide everything.” The show immediately welcomed all of its bootees, from first-out Paulina Porizkova to the lovely Ian Ziering, whose graceful exit was just last week. Heather Mills gave us one more flip that dared us to suspect her artificial leg was going to fly off, and this time … it didn’t, either! I could have done without seeing her again!!Next came a recap of last night’s performances that included backstage “confessionals” in which every celebrity was duly irritated at not getting the scores he or she was hoping for—Apolo for his rumba, Laila for her freestyle, and Joey for his cha-cha. Seeing Joey really angry while still wearing last night’s hot pink ruffled shirt was something of a treat, but other than that, this was nothing we hadn’t already seen.

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